Discuss your child's time line with him when he is finished. Point out that he has experienced many different events throughout life, some good and some bad. Help him to understand that he can get through the difficult time of divorce and that there are happiness and good times ahead.
Directions for a personal history time line Draw a long horizontal line on a sheet of paper. Label your birth at one end with a star. Label the present time somewhere in the middle.
Mark significant events that have occurred in your life between the "birth" star and the "present" mark. Possible ideas include births of siblings, getting pets, starting school, moving, learning to read, learning to ride a bike, divorce, remarriage, joining a team or club, death of relatives and special holidays and vacations.
Mark events that you hope will happen in the future. Play together As with drawing pictures, play is often a good way to help children express their feelings when it is difficult to talk about them. The following are some ideas of effective play activities: Make puppets Create finger puppets or puppets out of brown paper sacks. Have the puppets talk about their feelings.
Play games Sometimes when people are occupied in another activity, it is easier to talk about feelings than if they just sit down to have a talk. There are even some games on the market that specifically address divorce.
Role play Practice dealing with difficult situations that come about during divorce by acting out scenarios and discussing ways these situations can be handled positively. Let's exercise! Engaging in physical activities together helps parents and children spend time with one another and reap the health benefits of exercise! Exercising is a good way to get rid of tension or angry feelings in a positive way.
Good activities for parents and children to enjoy together Swimming Biking Hiking Walking Camping Flying kites Roller blading Creating two comfortable homes Your child should feel comfortable both in your home and in the home of your former spouse. Making sure that each home contains familiar items will help your child feel secure and at home in both places.
If possible, work with your child's other parent and include the following items in both households: Favorite toys and games Basic school supplies paper, pencils, scissors, etc.
Clothing underwear, socks, pajamas, jeans, etc. Toiletries toothbrush, hair brush, deodorant, etc. Favorite foods Photos of all family members Time capsule Making a time capsule is another way of helping children recognize that the troublesome feelings surrounding the divorce won't last forever and that there are many things to look forward to in the future.
Have your child put things in the capsule that represent his life: stories, drawings, photographs, and other special treasures and reminders. Encourage your child to answer the following questions and include them in the time capsule: Time capsule questions Who are your friends? Who is part of your family now? Who will be part of your family in the future?
Where will you be living in one year? Five years? What kinds of things do you like to do? What would you like to learn how to do in the future? What do you want to be when you grow up? There are many different kinds of containers that make good time capsules -- large glass jars with tight lids, large manila envelopes, shoe boxes, or drawstring bags.
After your child has finished making the time capsule, help her seal it. Let her decide when she will open it.
For example, it might be opened in one year, on a certain birthday, or five years from the divorce. When the time comes to open the capsule, your child will undoubtedly have fun looking at the things she put in it, noticing how her handwriting has changed, and reading the things she wrote. Conclusion Divorce is a difficult adjustment for children and parents. All family members must deal with a wide variety of emotions and make changes in the way they live.
However, despite their own struggles in the divorce process, parents still have an obligation to provide their children with love, nurturing and a sense of stability. Relationship-building activities, such as those discussed in this guide, can help parents connect with their children and better understand their children's feelings and concerns.
With time, patience and creativity, children and parents can successfully work through the effects of divorce together. Kids are nondivorceable: A workbook for divorced parents and their children. Brett, D.
Annie stories: A special kind of storytelling. New York: Workman Publishing Company. Visit or join a group at anytime. And attend as many meetings as you like. As your children begin to heal from the pain and confusion, their relationships with you, God and others will grow healthy and strong. Find out more. The ParentZone provides helpful articles to assist you on your single-parenting journey.
Uplifting messages encourage you. Inspiring articles written from personal experience guide you. While most of the children of divorce grow up to be productive and well-adjusted adults, some exhibit significant emotional or behavioral struggles that may require intervention by a therapist. According to the American Association for Marriage and Family Counselors , 25 percent of children whose parents divorce experience persistent behavioral or emotional difficulties.
There are a few signs that a child may need professional help, including the child acting younger than they are, displaying separation anxiety, experiencing behavioral issues at home or school, engaging in compulsive behaviors, or having trouble sleeping at night.
Although each child responds to therapy differently, play therapy is one of the most promising interventions for children struggling with divorce. This intervention has some distinct advantages, especially when used with younger children or children struggling to accurately understand and verbalize their own emotional state. The act of play creates neural connections in children that are vital for healthy development.
Learning, social and emotional development, and even memory are built up and strengthened through play. For children who have experienced difficult life events or past trauma, play is even more important for healthy development. The effects of adverse experiences have been shown to reside in the nonverbal areas of the brain like the hippocampus, amygdala, thalamus, and brain stem, while the ability to communicate and work through these experiences is housed in the frontal lobes.
The physical movements and role-playing activities that define play therapy assist in moving stored memories and sensations from the non-verbal parts of the brain to the frontal lobes, where children can successfully process them.
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